Have you ever experienced being “the only” person in a room? And I don’t mean literally, though I suspect we’ve all experienced that, too. Rather, have you ever felt like you were surrounded by people who simply didn’t understand you, or who didn’t connect with you? I would bet that most of us here have experienced this quiet social isolation. As a result, many of us can understand and empathize with this particular workplace phenomenon: being the “Only.”
Also known as tokenism, being the Only refers to being the only person of a marginalized group(s) in a workplace. As the description suggests, being the Only is an isolating experience, and it has both physical and psychological consequences on a person’s health. Unfortunately, there is low awareness of these negative effects. One 2021 study, for example, found that “78% of… respondents sa[id] they face[d] greater scrutiny [in the workplace] because of their race, yet… [only] 29% of white respondents… believe[d] this to be so.” Worst of all, this phenomenon is not new! A study from 1995 examined the effect of this workplace isolation on Black employees in the U.S., and many of the results remain consistent between then and today.
Manifestation of the “Only” Phenomenon
While the manifestation of being the Only can vary depending on the person, their workplace, and other site-specific factors, research across multiple decades has determined that certain stressors are common across the board for people who find themselves as the Only. Let’s walk through the overarching trends from these studies:
Firstly, there is performance pressure. Research reveals that people who are the only employee of their race, gender, sexuality, etc. experience additional pressure to succeed, where they often have to overachieve in order to be considered on equal ground with their coworkers of the dominant social group(s). And yet, the same study concluded an Only must reach these above-average accomplishments without calling “excessive” attention to themself—an impossible double bind. Ultimately, psychologist Jo Eckler explains that an Only becomes subjected to intense scrutiny and invisibility, where their achievements are hyper-examined and simultaneously ignored.
Another commonality research has found in the Only’s experiences is boundary heightening. The Only phenomenon leads to social exclusion, usually unintentional, where the “differences” between an Only and their majority coworkers are inscribed through “jokes,” interruptions, a lack of invitations to work-related activities, etc. As a result, an Only becomes forced to expect this social isolation, leading to heightened personal boundaries.
A third stressor seen in being the Only is role entrapment. Research shows that an Only often finds themself defined by stereotypes for their respective racial group(s), gender, sexuality, etc., which can lead to a distortion of individuality and personal identity. Furthermore, this phenomenon can cause an Only to be rendered a stand-in for their entire community. The only Black man in a workplace, for example, becomes expected to speak for every Black person in the country.
In terms of workplace opportunities, research found that being the Only means a person has “less access to supportive mentors and sponsors” in their organization, as well as decreased “access to career-development and financial opportunities.” This continued isolation within one’s work environment compounds the stressors we have already described.
The simple descriptions I provided of these overarching issues already alludes to just how disorienting being the Only can be. A more in-depth approach, however, is required to fully recognize the physical and psychological consequences of being the Only in an organization, including how these consequences feed into each other.
Physical and Psychological Effects
Research shows that “‘onlies’ — the only woman, the only LGBTQ[+] person, the only woman of color — are [more likely] to experience subtle forms of bias” in the workplace. Consider this shocking statistical comparison from the same study: “About 64% percent of all women reported they experienced microaggressions at work. That number jumped to nearly 90% when women frequently found themselves in ‘only’ situations.” Rather horrifying, isn’t it? Although this comparison is specific to women’s experiences, it still reveals how being an Only puts a person at greater risk of a harmful work environment. All of the following are physical and psychological consequences of being an Only:
Greater likelihood of being mistaken for lower-level positions (e.g. people of color are assumed to be waitstaff, women are assumed to be secretaries, etc.)
Feelings of embarrassment, frustration, and overall emotional drainage
Because of these negative consequences, people who are an Only are “1.5x more likely to think about leaving their jobs” than those who do not experience this consistent workplace isolation.
Certain experiences of being an Only are more exclusive to specific identities, too. Black people who are the Only, for example, often find themselves forced to code-switch, where they are expected to “leave their cultural language, style, or demeanor at the door to better fit in with their white counterparts,” which leads to increased stress and anxiety. Queer men and women who are the Only often don’t feel comfortable or safe speaking to their coworkers about themselves or their lives outside of work. Consider the following graph about women’s experiences as the Only from the 2021 Women in the Workplace study:
In short, there is no doubt that being the Only is a physically and psychologically draining experience. For those of us seeking to make our workplaces more inclusive and welcoming to all people, we must do everything in our power to prevent people of color, women, the queer community, people with disabilities, and individuals from all marginalized communities from experiencing this damaging isolation. Fortunately, there is a simple solution: facilitate diverse hiring.
The benefits to diversifying one’s workforce are countless, including increased business results, a rise in creativity and innovation, and attracting new hires—a positive feedback loop! I have written extensively on diverse hiring in the past, including tips to succeed at diverse hiring as well as a step-by-step checklist to diverse hiring, all of which can help an organization bring the Only phenomenon to an end. Remember, diverse hiring does not equate to “unqualified” hiring; it simply means “hiring based on merit with special care taken to ensure procedures are free from biases related to a candidate’s age, race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, and other personal characteristics that are unrelated to their job performance.”
At the end of the day, preventing a person from experiencing the isolation and exhaustion of being an Only simply means we must ensure they are not the only or one of the only people from their community in a workplace. By doing so, we help allow all of our employees to find coworkers they can connect and empathize with in more ways than one. Simple as that!
Dima Ghawi is the founder of a global talent development company with a primary mission for advancing individuals in leadership. Through keynote speeches, training programs and executive coaching, Dima has empowered thousands of professionals across the globe to expand their leadership potential. In addition, she provides guidance to business executives to develop diversity, equity, and inclusion strategies and to implement a multi-year plan for advancing quality leaders from within the organization.
Reach her at DimaGhawi.com and BreakingVases.com.
